The computer says no, that’s a reference to the Polar personal trainer website that I use to store and display my activity session data. I post a summary of each new session on this diary web-log, the idea being to show the different activities I get involved in, how hard I work and ‘stuff’ such as duration, calories burned and so on.
I am not trying to impress or ‘show off’ I am just saying ‘this is what I do to maintain relative stability in the face of my brain disorder, bi-polar.
Today my computer training friend tells me I shouldn’t work out. My sessions have been intense lately due to my want to lift the depressed state I find myself in. Today I am happy to comply with this binary companion, I feel flat, my legs feel weak, I want to go lay down and sleep till, well, when I think I may feel a little more ‘lifted’.
I know from experience that refraining from activity is a must if I am to stay relatively injury free. To gain an injury that would prevent me from participating in activity sessions for some weeks, or longer, would probably see me in an extremely bad place. So, although today I hover around a two out of ten on my ‘how do I feel scale’ (one being the worst possible case) and feel a real need to do ‘something’, I refrain.
So what to do? Go lay down? No, cat-napping now will disturb the natural dark-hours sleep cycle, for me, this is not good. Next strategy please.
Along with activity sessions I practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is not some way-out meditation chanting thing, it just entails doing your best to ‘stay in the moment’, stay this side of ruminating and not projecting into what may happen tomorrow, it is all about being in the ‘now’. If you’ve never heard of mindfulness I would urge you to ‘google’ it. Like most coping strategies, mindfulness only helps if you use it and to ‘use’ it you must practice.
Today for a number of reasons I cannot work out so I practice mindfulness and distraction. Right now while writing this blog entry I am deep in distracted-mindfulness. Distracted-mindfulness will see me through till tomorrow when I will continue with an activity session.
Right now, living one day at a time.